TueDuesday: Dress Up Your Digits: The Tuxedo Manicure

Welcome back to TueDuesday: A Weekly Series on Self Improvement (and Self Preservation), where I’ll share some of the hard-earned tips and tricks that have made their way up my sleeve after well over a decade of living alone in the city. 

TueDuesday goes out to all of you who have ever bravely moved into your very own apartment, only to encounter a cockroach the size of a well-fed hamster.  Barefoot.  In the middle of the night.  To all the ambitious drinkers who ever wanted to score the bartender’s number (and to the many of us who have failed, only to bravely try again).  To the pasta fiends.  To the Facebook lurkers.  To the happy, the hopeful, and the possibly hung-over guys and gals like me, navigating the city streets – or the country roads – without benefit of a map or a significant other.  Whether you’re chronically single, newly separated or happily coupled up and just looking for a way to make the occasional table for one a little more fun, there’s something here for you.

Like what you see?  Pass it along!  Strongly disagree?  Say so in the comments!  (Respectfully, please; after growing up with the last name Blewett, my ego can only take so much.)  Have an idea for a future TueDuesday post?  Send it over!  And keep in touch, via Twitter @LeahKBlewett and Instagram @leahkblewett.

Happy TueDuesday!

TueDuesday, June 9, 2015

Dress Up Your Digits: The Tuxedo Manicure

With deadlines pressing down on me from all sides, this week’s TueDuesday is a true twofer: I need a manicure, and I don’t have any damned time to get one or money to pay for one.  Instead, here’s one of my favorite tricks to make your fingertips look lovely with surprisingly little effort: The Tuxedo Manicure.  James Bond-style martini optional (but strongly encouraged…just wait until they’re dry!)

First, let’s talk supplies. 

You’ll need…

*** An emery board.  Maybe your natural nails are less unruly than mine, and to that I say, lucky you.  But mine get jagged if I so much as think about touching anything harder than my pillow, so I always give them a quick file to smooth out the edges and even out the length before I start painting.

*** A light, solid color for your ring fingers.  They’re the ones suiting up, so neutral pink or beige is a good choice.  White makes for a dramatic contrast.  I myself am a fan of unusual colors, so that lavender you see?  That’s the dress shirt to my fingernail tuxedo.

*** A second, contrasting color for the rest of your nails.  You can always paint them all the same color, but a subtle contrast here is a great way to tie the look into the rest of your outfit (or match your pedicure without being all Barbie about it).  I’m using the same shimmery gold currently adorning my tooties.  If you chose white as your background for the tux, consider going all-out and painting the rest of your nails drop-dead red.  You’ve just earned that martini, girl.

*** A black nail art pen.  Mine is Sally Hansen, because I am nothing if not frugal (the glamourous life of abject writerly poverty that I chose has its drawbacks), but you can just as easily use any brand you like.  You can also opt for a paint marker from any arts-and-crafts store, as long as you choose an ultra-fine point, or even a black Sharpie in an absolute emergency.  Keep in mind that these will tend to bleed more than nail pens when you apply your topcoat, and this manicure won’t last a minute without one, so it can’t hurt to spring for the real thing.  And while black is definitely the tux-iest looking color, feel free to play around!  I love my metallic paint markers, and no one ever said you couldn’t contrast your bowtie with your buttons and cummerbund.  It’s a manicure, not a mandate.  Let’s have some fun.

*** A quick-drying topcoat.  The Sally Hansen “Dries Instantly” really does, and it doesn’t get goopy the way other topcoats can, so that’s my move. 

On to the action!  The only really critical part here is letting your nails dry before attempting to draw on your tuxedos, then letting the designs dry before sealing them in place with topcoat.  I’ll be tempting fate and multi-tasking by typing while they dry, but if you’ve been waiting to binge-watch 30 Rock, fire up Netflix and kick back for an hour or two while you complete this process.

Another quick note before we begin: it’s likely that you’ll eff this up at least once.  No worries – it’s just nail polish!  Remove it and start again.  That’s why I start with the ring fingers: they’re the most difficult, and if I need to do over, I don’t risk ruining all of my other nails with polish remover.

Hand steady?  Martini fixins at the ready?  Polishes selected?  Nail pen acquired?  Let’s do this.

Start with your light, solid color and paint each of your ring fingers.  I’m assuming most of you know home-manicure basics, but it bears repeating that you should aim to get the color as close as possible to your cuticles without touching them.  If you do, take the polish off and start over; otherwise, it will dry connected to the cuticle, creating a ragged edge that will peel up as your nail grows away from the nailbed.  This will probably take at least two coats, but I try to avoid going up to three, if I can, in order to save myself from spending the rest of my day and night waiting for the final product to dry.  Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Once your ring fingers are painted, the fun really begins: bust out your nail pen.  I find that mine gets a little ornery about how long I tend to wait between uses, so maybe try out the tip on a paper towel until it’s running smoothly.  Then, give yourself a black French manicure.

If you’re worried about the steadiness of your hand while doing this, start with a very narrow line at the absolute tip of your nail and draw backwards from there.  You’re only doing one nail per hand, so they needn’t be absolutely the same width, anyway.  People are going to be way too captivated by your clever nail art to notice.  You will also probably get some ink on your skin.  This is totally okay, especially if you went with a nail art pen: once you paint on the topcoat, it will seal the ink onto your nails and allow it to wash right off your skin like nothing was ever there.  Next, draw an X near your nailbed.

Easy, right?  You’re doing great.  Now, close off the two triangles and color them in. 

Hard part: virtually over!  Now, just draw three little dots between the center of the X and the French tip.

Your nails look so adorably formal!  Now let them dry, then seal in your design with topcoat.  Finally, paint the rest of your nails with your second, contrasting color.  Check you out!  Your hands look playful and colorful, perfect for a summer wedding or a night out with friends.  You’d never know, looking at my nails, that I spent this entire sunny summer TueDuesday indoors typing, would you??

I’ve got to get back to the deadline grind, but in the interest of keeping you coming back (and myself on my self-imposed weekly schedule), here’s the first-ever TueDuesday Teaser…

Next week: get ready for DIY wine slushies (it’s way easier than you think) as we learn How to Pack a Picnic!